THE CRAFT OF LIFE WORKBOOK
My name is Robert Goldstein. I am the author of The Craft of Life, and the creator of a psychological model called Identity Theory, which I have developed, practiced, taught and used as a counseling method for the past 26 years. While I have had much personal success in business and in my long counseling career, I have no formal degrees. Instead, I have toiled persistently in my garage (metaphorically speaking) for several decades. Identity Theory and The Craft of Life are the fruit of my labors. I have several additional books planned, which I hope to produce steadily in
THE CRAFT OF LIFE
My name is Robert Goldstein. I am the author of The Craft of Life, and the creator of a psychological model called Identity Theory, which I have developed, practiced, taught and used as a counseling method for the past 26 years. While I have had much personal success in business and in my long counseling career, I have no formal degrees. Instead, I have toiled persistently in my garage (metaphorically speaking) for several decades. Identity Theory and The Craft of Life are the fruit of my labors. I have several additional books planned, which I hope to produce steadily in
THE CRAFT OF LIFE FOR COUPLES: Learning to Build a Conscious, Authentic Relationship with Your Partner
Once a person gains command of The Craft of Life, it becomes natural to extend it further by introducing the practice directly into one’s most intimate relationship, meaning one’s spouse or partner. This requires that both individuals either first learn the craft themselves, or they learn it together but at the same time. In this way, both parties commit to knowing their personal story of wounding and imbalance at a deep and true place and become willing to share it openly with their partner. Inner work at this level is genuinely profound because each person agrees to allow his or her partner to point out when they have fallen into their blind spot and are enacting their masking behaviors instead of owning and asking for their emotional longings. Conflicts, which are a natural part of relationship, suddenly take on new meaning. Disagreements about who is late or who left dishes in the sink or any of the multitude of issues that plague modern relationships all dissolve into the deeper emotional matters that they actually represent, creating new opportunities for authenticity, healing, and love. Awareness begins to grow like a flowering vine. Time and energy—typically spent arguing, bickering, being upset—are saved, old issues that could never before be admitted or broached come out and are resolved, and, quite naturally, all of these are replaced with new feelings of peace and trust. The Craft of Life for Couples is a step-by-step process that teaches you how with carefully created exercises, guided weekly practice, and clear, concrete direction throughout.
THE CRAFT OF LIFE FOR PARENTS: Learning to Build Conscious, Authentic Relationships with Your Children
Parenting is the hardest job in the world. There are no owner’s manuals. Change and surprise become the norm as long-term exhaustion sets in, along with incessant concern and worry--the list goes on and on. Then small children become teenagers and the fun really begins. All of this would be manageable if it were not a fact that each and every one of us is an emotionally wounded, out-of-balance person. Parents unintentionally and unknowingly project their fears, emotional wounds, and learned childhood story onto their own children, causing them pain and invalidation, while producing issues of life-long conflict and strife. This cannot be avoided; it is the process of enculturation by which children enter society, and it is true even for “good” parents. Our mother and father did this to us and we will do this to our children. Good intentions, love and caring, hard work and true effort—none of it changes any of these facts.
The Craft of Life for Parents continues the natural progression of The Craft of Life, which began as an individual experience, grew into partner relationships, and, now, extends into parenting. In this volume, we learn to apply the craft to parenting--the noblest of undertakings. We learn how to identify our children’s emotional wounds and imbalances, where these came from, and, so, we learn to see and accept our children as individuals, distinct from ourselves. This effort creates palpable emotional space between us and our children, reducing reactivity while promoting understanding. By learning to perceive our children at a deeper, emotional level, we have the opportunity to see and communicate with them authentically. In this way, we teach our children by example how to be the best parents they can when, finally, it is their turn. And we open a door to a brand new kind of relationship never before possible.
THE CRAFT OF LIFE FOR FAMILIES: Learning to Build Conscious, Authentic Multigenerational Relationships
All of our social organizations extol the virtues of family, its importance and value.This is true, but, in addition, the family remains the central environment where the most serious emotional wounding takes place, and this inconvenient fact remains largely unaddressed and avoided. Essentially, families--even loving, respectful ones—are a group of unconscious, emotionally-wounded, and out-of-balance individuals, projecting their learned childhood stories onto other family members as a way of life. This ongoing, unconscious activity—also known as daily living--creates internal pain, fear, broken trust, and, most of all, hiding, in all of its members. Every family has a collection of secrets and lies rooted to pain and dissatisfaction that lives between them; this includes parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings, grandparents, cousins and everyone else. While this may sound horrible and upsetting, what I am describing is the norm; it is to be found in every family anywhere in the world as surely as one might find a kitchen table or a cooking stove. Human beings, by nature, hurt one another, because we reflexively defend ourselves and our beliefs from any perceived threat of invalidation.
Now imagine a family that consciously works together to change all of this. The Craft of Life for Families presents a remarkable, new way for family members to perceive, understand, and communicate with each other—it is a model for a new world. A family forms a small group to learn and practice The Craft of Life together. Each member takes turns being interviewed and sharing their biography. In doing so, participants learn their stories as well as the stories of their family members: it is an extraordinary experience when people from multiple generations—parents, grandparents, adult children—gather in a state of emotional openness to express their pains, fears, and wants honestly and directly to one another. Through weekly meetings, family members discover their own childhood beliefs about disapproval, masking behaviors, and emotional longings. The group works together cooperatively, building a new awareness of old issues through exercises and practices design to facilitate authentic dialogue and genuine healing. Participants work to take ownership of their personal pain and fear (of disapproval), which drives their emotional reactivity, hurting others in a way that turns out to be unintentional and inadvertent but hurting them none the less. Over time, members learn to separate themselves from one another as individuals, while paradoxically growing closer and closer as a family. The result is a group of people—a family—who have invested time and energy to see, know, and accept one another, which creates a deepening feeling of authentic love and respect. This work presents the possibility of healing one's entire family--generations forward and back.
BELIEF, IDENTITY, AND LIVING SYMBOLS: A Macrocosmic View of Identity Theory and Evolution
I have been waiting patiently to write this book since 1979 when spontaneously I was pulled from time and space into a direct experience of the organic processes of creation and evolution. This experience brought me into contact with the underlying structure of life and the universe—actually to life and the multiverse. In this book, I will delve into some big questions. What is the purpose of life? What are the mechanics behind it, meaning how does life function beneath the surface? What is the relationship between our individual lives and the universe? What is the process of creation? How does it operate as a living system? What are the natural laws that hold the universe together? What is collective identity? How are we all connected? And why are we all separated? How does energy become matter? What controls the manifestation of life? What might the future hold? What might we look like physically as the river of evolution flows ever onward? Does God exist? What role does it play in all of this if any?
This book contains all of the principles of The Craft of Life as they operate on a macrocosmic level. In it, I plan to explore all of the above questions and dozens more like them.
MY LIFE IN WATER: THE SLOW, TERRIFYING PROCESS OF LETTING GO: A Memoir
I love a good story. If I live long enough and am able, I would like to write the story of my life mainly because it’s a good one. My mother, a victim of terminal cancer, was effectively dead before I was born. My father was a narcissist with the emotional intelligence of a child. He was a compulsive gambler and a criminal who went to prison twice. By the time I was 12, I had three mothers, three different dysfunctional families, and I didn’t fit into any of them. It was as though I had arrived from another planet. I was the subject of ongoing neglect and abuse nearly continuously for the first 17 years of my life. That was the year I left home.
I moved to New York City in 1975 when it was a dirty, dangerous, but wildly fun place to be. I hung out on 42nd Street among prostitutes and petty criminals, trying to figure out who I was. I drove a cab for three years. I went to college at night. At 20, I met my future wife. At 22, I spontaneously had my first religious experience. By religious, I mean an experience of all things simultaneously--oneness. The word religion derives from the Latin root Religare, which means to bind together or unite. From this experience, The Craft of Life and Identity Theory came into being, and from there the story goes on.
THE CRAFT OF LIFE
The Craft of Life is a process-oriented practice through which an individual develops new awareness daily by learning to recognize and understand the relationship between your perceptions and beliefs (cause) and the outer forms and emotional content of your life (effect). Through clearly defined theory and practice, The Craft of Life transforms inner work (self-exploration) from an often nebulous process into a well-defined, skill-based craft. Practitioners come to understand themselves, their behaviors, attitudes, and life situations with remarkable clarity, and, then, by performing the accompanying exercises, begin to introduce genuine change within themselves, leading to new levels of self-awareness, inner stability, and emotional satisfaction.
THE CRAFT OF LIFE STUDY GUIDE
The best way to learn The Craft of Life is by participating in a small study group of two to seven people. Members gather weekly to read, practice, and learn together. Typically, there is generous support, understanding, help—even love—as group members reveal more and more about themselves through the telling of their biographies. This book provides carefully-thought-out, step-by-step instructions that cover everything you need to know to form, maintain, and operate a successful and effective study group. All content is based on the author’s many years of experience. Instructions for study and practice are clearly organized into a weekly format. Questions are provided throughout, designed to promote genuine introspection, unscripted dialogue, and authentic interactions, all of which aid practitioners in realizing full comprehension of the material and its practice. While designed for a small group, individuals and couples may also use this study guide and gain its substantial benefit.
MANAGEMENT BY IDENTITY: Why your business doesn't work and how to fix it permanently
In my long career, I've been president or Director of Operations for several companies. At every stage, I have endeavored to create organizations that thrived and were profitable because they consciously chose to serve everyone associated with the company in an impactful way: customers, owners, mangers, supervisors, office staff, warehouse, and direct labor. I have attempted and failed many times as I tried to puzzle this out, but in the end, by combining key elements of The Craft of Life, I was able finally to achieve my vision.
The majority of management systems fail because they do not actually see the problems that they are purporting to resolve. In lieu of serious content, companies receive slogans, mission statements, catchy phrases--none of which significantly helps employees do their job better or provides meaningful improvement over the long term. Without understanding and working on the level of identity, with both its conscious and unconscious elements, real change is not possible. Most management systems focus exclusively on fixing external problems, trying to substitute "good behaviors" with ineffective ones. In fact, the origin of these exist internally as identity issues within employees, managers, and owners, so must be addressed from the inside out rather from the outside in.
There are two key points on which employees should be viewed and evaluated: skill and identity. All problems, meaning breaks in flow, derive from one or the other, but both must be approached very differently. Management By Identity will present a new paradigm for business management--one based on understanding and working primarily with identity, instead of outward conditions. In this book, I will go into great detail about how to introduce this management system into your company; what it entails; the effects it will have when you implement it correctly and completely, and the remedies it will provide over time, and much more.